Transformation is HARD WORK! I've been introspecting a lot (or so I like to say, sounds much better than hiding from myself and the world) these past few weeks, going through a rebirth process, learning how to walk, talk, and fly all over again.
I have been rediscovering and learning who I am in this new version of me and what I like and dislike in everything I do. From the clothes I wear, the food I eat, to the shows I watch, my community ... it's confusing at times! In moments of confusion and overwhelm, I tend to isolate myself and hibernate. My daughter says she sees me meditating all day...haha, well, when I hit a wall, that's what I seem to gravitate toward. Looking inward is better than binge-watching TV, right?
Learning to fly is like learning to ride a bike. I really don't want to take off my training wheels. I have a video of myself teaching my son to ride a bike, telling him over and over, "You can do it!" and then letting go. I felt joy and pride when he rode his bike around the block for the first time...I see myself similarly as a little girl, asking my old self not to let go just yet while hearing my soul say, “You can do it, Ashmi! And knowing the freedom and sense of pride I will as soon as I do”
The Science Behind Changing Habits
Identifying which habits you want to develop and which ones you want to change is crucial. The common idea that “old habits are hard to break” is misleading. Habits aren’t broken; they are replaced, not erased. This distinction is important to recognize.
When I get overwhelmed, I tend to hide in my cave. I love it! It feels safe. I'm in my favorite pajamas, frozen, even though time isn't. Self-doubt and self-judgment become my best friends, and we spend quality time together. In those times, why is it so hard sometimes to move forward?
We all have those fleeting 2-5 second windows where we can make a choice that leads to growth or retreat into the comfort of our old habits. This week in class, when I truly understood the weight of those crucial moments, it struck a chord within me and became my new practice. Make the choice that aligns with the vision you have for your life, with who you want to be when in that window that lasts only for a few seconds. Now, it's not to say that I didn’t make choices that led to old habits, but I was aware and mindful of those choices. The shift in how I processed and thought about it was game-changing. I feel more empowered, and that has led to making choices toward my vision for my life more often than falling back into bad habits.
Implementing Habit Change
To create true, meaningful change, we must take a step back to examine and reshape our habit systems from the ground up.
Take time to reflect on the habits you’d like to change, whether in your personal or professional life. Do you want to improve your health? Your spirituality? What about your communication in the workplace or your productivity? There are endless ways we can all improve. The key is to proactively think about how you can weave good habits into your life while phasing out the bad ones. Audit yourself to find the gaps, create a system of habits that works for you, and remember: don’t be too hard on yourself!
As I step out of my cave, for now, I choose to mediate or eat that piece of dark chocolate (that my son so lovingly tries to hide) when old habits start to creep in, trusting that in time, I will cultivate the daily habits, and practices that are aligned with who I am becoming along my path to transformation and growth.
Transformation is a journey, and I'm learning to take it one step at a time. It's about finding the courage to move forward, even if it's just a tiny step. Each step, no matter how small, is progress. And with each step, I'm growing stronger and more confident in my ability to truly take flight.
Transformation is hard, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Celebrate your small victories and cherish the journey. Every step forward is a testament to your strength and resilience.
Every moment is an opportunity to gracefully embrace yourself, be kind to yourself, and have the courage to Be Self Now.